Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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