it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize