Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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