I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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