Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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