So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
