I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
God, I missed his penis.
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