I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sober January is a disaster.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
