I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize