i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize