nut hugger
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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