This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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