why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
