I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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