She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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