So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
