i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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