wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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