You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
