sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
