yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
