One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize