I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
