He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
