Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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