Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
