That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize