Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize