Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
