I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
