how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize