You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
