I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How naked do you want me to be?
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