they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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