Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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