Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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