I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
