Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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