Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Randomize
