And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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