It's Friday. Sex?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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