ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
