I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
