closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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