That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
