Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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