their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
