You're completely useless in the revolution.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
