nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
