Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
