Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
