so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
