Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think weed is turning my hair brown
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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