Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
