Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
