It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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