Don't you send me to vm
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
