She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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