I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
