I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
nutella sex= disaster
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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