Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
