well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
what day is it and did you see me today?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
