I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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