I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
