Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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