Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
