yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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