girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
