Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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