You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize