i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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