So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize