I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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