i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
