when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
